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About the CPS
Our Mission:
"To optimize public safety
in the City of Calgary"
Domestic Abuse & Family Violence
Introduction
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Domestic abuse is often hidden under the appearance of a 'normal' home.
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Children who visit this exhibit will learn about the dynamics of an abusive home and why the victimized partner tends to remain in the relationship. This tendency is very difficult to understand, even for adults and children who have experienced or witnessed abuse. The two most important messages for youth is that, first, no one has to tolerate abuse of any kind - children have rights, including the right to seek help. Secondly, abuse in the home is not their fault. Unfortunately, many children blame themselves if they see a parent being abused, or if they themselves are being mistreated.
Violence in the home
Violence doesn't belong in a home. When violence does exist in a household, it is called domestic violence or domestic abuse.
Domestic abuse is one family member hurting other family members physically or mentally. Usually it is a family secret, and other people have no way of knowing it is happening.
When you walk into the picture-perfect kitchen setting in the domestic abuse display at the Interpretive Centre, you feel like you are walking into any average home. At first glance, there is nothing out of the ordinary. After all, there is no way to tell an abusive home just by walking into it.
If you take a closer look at the display, you'll see clues that this house is not your typical home. For example, the kitchen wallpaper is covered with names of people who have died. They were victims of domestic violence.
Even though domestic violence is a secret in some homes, it should never be thought of as a 'private family matter.' It is a crime and we must all take responsibility. We cannot knowingly allow abuse to go on.
When is it abuse?
All families have arguments. Sometimes, people may raise their voices. But, some families are better at handling arguments than others. So, how do you know when a situation is abusive? A good indication is when arguments go from a loud discussion to name calling and swearing. These changes happen slowly and can lead to pushing, shoving and hitting.
What is abuse?
Abuse is an attempt to control another person by mistreating him or her. And the mistreatment is not always physical. There are many types of abuse including:
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Emotional and psychological abuse
- This includes criticism, name-calling and swearing. They are usually attacks on a person's weaknesses.
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Sexual abuse
- This includes any form of unwanted touching or sexual behaviour. A sexual act is wrong if either one of the people is uncomfortable or not participating willingly.
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Physical abuse
- This is the use of force to control another person. Examples include hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, grabbing and using a weapon. The use of force is against the law.
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Economic abuse
- This includes withholding money and other things that are required for the welfare of a family.
What about child abuse?
When abuse or violence is directed at children it is called child abuse. This is when children are harmed:
- Physically
- Emotionally
- Mentally
- Sexually
Child abuse is also when a caregiver ignores a child's basic needs such as education, supervision, health, nutrition and physical and emotional development.
Anyone can be a victim of abuse
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Domestic abuse can happen in any neighbourhood and any culture.
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Domestic abuse can be found anywhere, in any neighbourhood and any culture. Although we usually think of women as the victims of abuse by men, it can sometimes be the man who is abused. It can also be children, or people who are elderly or have disabilities. The abuser can be anyone.
The need for concern
Children who witness violence in a home can be affected in the same way as children who actually experience physical or emotional abuse. One out of five children from violent homes is likely to become a parent who abuses children.
Crisis shelters report that at least 80 per cent of children who come to the shelters have behaviour problems and trouble getting along with others. Often youth who get into trouble with the law come from families that were violent or neglectful or both.
With increased awareness and understanding about the need to help these children, the cycle of violence can be broken.
HELP
Part of the display at the centre is a counselling office. It represents the people and places that help families who are experiencing domestic abuse.
Do you need help? Do you feel you need to talk to someone? Sometimes children and adults think that no one else can understand their problems, so they keep their problems a secret. But, talking about problems can be a big help.
If you are a child, you must remember that it is against the law for someone to hurt you or touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable. If this is happening to you or someone you know, tell an adult that you trust. It might be your teacher or guidance counsellor. If nothing changes, find another adult or phone one of the numbers below:
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Child Abuse Hot Line 1-800-387-5437
This line can be used by anyone who wants to report child abuse.
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Child at Risk Response Team 270-5335
These people are social workers and police officers who help children in Calgary who are abused. They try to help the family so that the abuse can be stopped.
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Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868
This Canadian phone line is for children who need help.
- If you are in Calgary, you can also call the Calgary Police Service at 266-1234.
YES or NO
Do the following YES or NO quiz to help you gain a better understanding of domestic violence. Remember to check your answers on the answers page.
- If children witness violence in their family, but are not abused themselves, they are not affected.
- Pregnant women are never abused by their partners.
- Yelling, swearing and name-calling is a form of abuse.
- 19th Century British courts punished men for hitting their wives only if the wife was permanently injured.
- Violence only happens in poor families.
- Sometimes it is okay to use violence . like when you are just playing, if someone won't listen or if someone is being a jerk.
- It is not possible for a woman to abuse a man.
- People who are disabled or elderly can be victims of abuse.
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